Life coach on the blog today! WHAT?!
Hey there, ladies! Happy September! I’m so thrilled because I’ve been holding on to this little gem of feedback for a while now and I’ve been so excited to share it.
One of my clients from earlier in the year, is now a kick-ass life coach. She wrote this guest blog to give you all feedback on her thoughts on the positive effects of boudoir and more.
Intrigued?! Read more!
Introducing the amazing Ms. Amanda Gold!
I used to hate my body so much.
I wouldn’t wear shorts or tank tops.
I criticized every photo of me (loudly and incessantly, to the point where friends got irritated and complained).
I kept the lights off during sex.
I wouldn’t go swimming with new friends who invited me, because of what I imagined they’d think of me in a swimsuit.
I could go on and on with all the examples of how my self-loathing showed up and limited my life.
So imagine what a triumph it was to find myself booking boudoir photos with Emily.
I had done a LOT of great, healing work to learn how to love my body in order to even consider getting boudoir photos taken- and I was so proud of that.
But there was still some fine-tuning to do, especially as the date of my session got closer and closer.
I was so excited.
I KNEW it would be the most amazing gift for my fiancé.
Life Coach says, “But I still had some fears:”
What if I felt super nervous, tense and uncomfortable the whole time?
What if I was too insecure to even enjoy the experience?
What if I ruined my pictures because I felt so anxious and it showed, and I looked constipated or worse?
What if I hated my pictures?
What if I felt embarrassed?
What if this was just a huge waste of time?
Luckily, I had tools to help myself with these kind of fears. And I want to share them with you. Because guess what: these thoughts are totally normal and common, and they are also a choice.
Which means we can choose better ones, feel better, and enjoy our lives a lot more.
I hope these 3 tips help you make the most of YOUR boudoir shoot!
- Understand that the thoughts and insecurities you have about your body are not objective facts of the universe. Beauty is a standard created by the media, fashion industry, dominant cultural groups and norms… We are also subjected to the judgments and opinions of our family, friends, schools and community. But there is no true standard for beauty. It really is whatever we decide. There is no actually perfect, good, right body that you have to try and attain. So if you are despairing that you don’t measure up to the ideals and stereotypes that exist around you, remind yourself you don’t have to. You can decide that your body is good and beautiful and right, just because YOU say so.
- Get all your fears and insecurities out on paper, in the form of ‘what ifs’:
- what if I hate my pictures
- what if I feel uncomfortable the whole time
- what if I look ugly.
List them all out, and then flip each one to its opposite:
- What if I LOVE my pictures?
- What if I feel comfortable the whole time?
- What if I look gorgeous?
This isn’t to say you will automatically believe these new “what-ifs” but it’s a great practice to teach yourself how to balance the scales a bit in your thinking. Our brains LOVE to focus on the negative and on what can go wrong. We have to practice showing it that things can go really really well, too.
- Set an intention for your session that is independent of the tangible outcomes. By this I mean, don’t hang all your hopes on ‘amazing pictures’ (although, with Emily, those are guaranteed LOL) but focus on how you want to feel, or on the way in which you want to grow. Examples:
- However these turn out, I will be nice to myself.
- I will not hone in on my flaws, but I will focus on the parts of myself I LOVE.
- I am going to have FUN!
- This is a really amazing step towards loving myself more.
- I am becoming a woman who feels beautiful in my own skin.
I hope this helps. I haven’t met a woman yet who doesn’t have some sort of insecurity or stress around getting near-nekkid and loving her body. So if you struggle, you’re not alone. And there’s no finish line. It’s a journey of learning to love ourselves the way we are, to take care of ourselves and to enjoy the ride. It’s a skill we practice. So be good to yourself as you walk this path.
If you’ve booked your photo shoot, HOORAY!! It’s going to be one of the most transformational experiences and the best gift you can give yourself (or that special someone 😉
If you’re on the fence, I encourage you to go for it. Whatever’s holding you back, trust that what is on the other side is so, SO worth whatever work is needed to overcome your hesitation.
And hey! If you want some more help with this, I am offering a free life coaching session to anyone reading this. I think Emily is a magical human with a powerful gift, and my experience with her was fantastic. It’s my privilege to give back any way I can, so if you want some coaching to help you build your confidence, overcome negative body image or self talk, or anything at all that is keeping you from being your full-blast radiant, gorgeous self, I got you. Book a session and let’s talk.
Scheduling link: https://calendly.com/kickasswithbothfeet/consultation
Holy crap, ladies?! How incredible was that?! I adore Amanda and I’m so thrilled she found her calling as a life coach. You should definitely check her out!